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We call our psychological approach “ Healing the Inner Family.” Our combined studies in Chinese medicine, human development, psychology and Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) inspired us to integrate modern brain research and the Chinese metaphysical concept of the five movements. This revealed how our brain is designed to fulfill our needs and to contribute to the needs of others. Inside of ourself, several needs exist that can easily conflict with one another. These inner conflicts can be the source of great emotional turmoil and physical dysfunction. However, when these needs are met we manage our life with a great deal of ease and grace.
The Inner Mother
This represents our need for caring and nurturing, including the ability to care for our self, our body, our close personal relationships and our immediate environment. Our ability to be effective in these areas, while respecting and honoring our self and others, enables us to establish and maintain fulfilling relationships and to create a beautiful and uplifting environment around us. This requires a clear sense of boundaries and responsibility. The emotions associated with these needs not being met are worry, guilt, resentment and despair. The emotions associated with these needs being met are joy, ease, happiness, fulfillment, gratitude and appreciation.
The Inner Father
The need of the father is to contribute to the world. It is a need for value and clarity of direction. We need to know that what we do has value for ourselves or for others. This also has been called a need for meaning or purpose. Those who are led by their values, value themselves, their work and the work of others. This stance is often associated with integrity, clarity and tolerance. Learning how to identify and commit to our values through what we do and say is a great source of inner fulfillment. The emotions associated with these needs not being met are worthlessness, depression, fear, being dejected and shame. The emotions associated with these needs being met are happiness, satisfaction, pride and fulfillment
The Inner Child
The needs of the child are self-expression, freedom and autonomy. Each person is born unique and brings unique gifts to the world. The ability to claim these gifts, master these gifts and openly share them with the world is what fulfills these needs. This requires the willingness to work toward creative solutions that honor our contribution even if this challenges the status quo while respecting the needs and contributions of others. The emotions associated with these needs not being met are anger, hate, rage, frustration, jealousy and disappointment. The emotions associated with these needs being met are freedom, aliveness, playfulness, spontaneity, enthusiasm and creativity.
The Grandparents
These needs relate to understanding and feeling understood. They are the need to know how things work and how we can work them, the need to belong, the need for appreciation and respect. The emotions associated with these needs not being met are sadness, grief, sorrow, nostalgia, abandonment and despair. The emotions associated with these needs being met are satisfaction, fulfillment, joy, gratitude, peace, delight and enthusiasm.
In the same way as the fulfillment of these needs would be crucial to the proper functioning of a happy family, the fulfillment of these needs constitute the foundation of our own individual effectiveness. It is not difficult to see that if we knew how to meet these needs our life would be quite wonderful.
Unfortunately, many of us were brought up in environments where many of these needs were not met. We may have been taught abuse rather than discipline, neglect rather than care, aloofness rather that participation and stubbornness rather than self-expression. In our search for fulfillment we may have mistakenly been led to believe that we would find happiness through external gratification alone. Our desire to get rather than to give may have considerably distorted our ability to function effectively and to fully participate in our lives and in the lives of others.
Whatever the cause of the distortion: educational, social, genetic or karmic, we need to restore the health of the inner family if we want to fully express ourselves in our lives.
Through our coaching methodology Strategies For Success we will assist you to:
- Reconnect to your inner peace.
- Create effective strategies to deal with issues and conflicts
- Identify your areas of disempowerment
- Clarify your needs, purpose and strategies
- Create exciting achievable goals
- Create a tracking system to help you stay on course
- Provide support while you get there.
Our goal is to empower you in making your life the most fun, valuable and fulfilling possible. Click here to contact us about a consultation
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